Wit & Wisdom from the
Students of Daniel Light

Daniel Light

Louisville, Kentucky

Teaching piano is my passion and my career. Students frequently delight me with their comments–often hilarious, sometimes witty, occasionally sweet and tender. Here are some of those gems.

“I’m glad I’m playing for Piano Guild. It means I get to skip two hours of saying the rosary.”

–7th grader

“If you don’t practice that piece with a metronome this week, I’m gonna haunt you in your sleep.”

“You’re already in my nightmares.”

–7th grader

“You woke the baby Jesus,” I responded after a boisterous rendition of Silent Night.

“I think if I were being worshipped, I’d at least stay awake for it.”

–5th grader

“My dad said he heard you play a wrong note in church yesterday.”

–5th grader

“Hey, you got a new metronome, Mr. Light! I could have given you mine. I never use it anyway.”

–7th grader

“I wish we had snack time at piano lessons.”

–7th grader

“How was your Red River Gorge weekend?” I inquired.

“Horrible! There was no WiFi.”

–5th grader

“The metronome aggernates me when there’s a ritard.”

–2nd grader

“How much dollars do you have?”

–Kindergartner

“You have the best job in the world, ’cause there’s no one bossing you around.”

–6th grader

“How was Thanksgiving?”

“I lost two teeth and found out my parents are the tooth fairy. That was disappointing.”

–3rd grader

“What’s different?” I asked, demonstrating a drop-lift motion.

“Your hand looks old and wrinkly?”

–5th grader

“Mr. Light, Do you have an elf on the shelf?”
“No, should I buy one?”
“You can’t buy one. They just appear!”

–3rd grader

“Mr. Light, did your Christmas tree have candles on it when you were a kid?”

–1st grader

“I fermatatized it.” 

–8th grader

“Mr. Light, if you lived in Scotland, you’d have to wear a skirt every day.”

–2nd grader

“Which piece would you like to play for recital?” I asked.

Two Ladies Gasping,” she replied.

–8th grader

“I saw my Spanish teacher hugging the nurse today. They’re both single.”

–3rd grader

“Back in my day, you didn’t move Halloween. You put on a poncho if it rained.”

–9th grader (going on 99)

“I counted all my Halloween candy and wrote down how many pieces of each kind I have. That way I’ll know how many pieces my parents steal.”

–3rd grader

“I got to sit by my crush at school today. I can tell he likes me, ’cause he acts like he hates me.”

–4th grader

“You sound like the genie from Aladdin.”

–2nd grader

“Put this assignment sheet in your piano binder the minute you get home,” I said to the 2nd grader who forgot his binder today.

“Yes, Your Majesty,” he replied.

“One day of practice wasn’t really enough, was it?” I suggested.

“Not a fan of the hard work,” he replied.

–9th grader

“That sounds like somebody died.”

–2nd grader, after hearing a piece in a minor key.

“When can I leave? This seems longer than usual.”

–2nd grader

“First grade is awesome, but there’s a really sassy girl who sits beside me.”

–1st grader

“I tooted. Can you smell that?”

–2nd grader

“Mosquitoes like me because I have stinky feet.”

–3rd grader

“You could teach a dead body to play piano.”

–Adult student, in response to my praising her good progress.

“Mr. Light, what’s your first name?”

“You know my first name!”

“Mister?”

–2nd grader

“My dad burped for 10 seconds at dinner. I timed it.”

–3rd grader

“Why didn’t Mozart have any chickens? Because they always say ‘Bach, Bach, Bach.'”

–1st grader

“I just had sugar!”

–1st grader, walking in to her lesson, as if I needed to be warned

“You should put your highlighter tape in rainbow order,” she suggested.

“I don’t remember rainbow order,” I replied.

“MR. LIGHT! How can you not know the order of rainbow colors? I learned that in kindergarten!”

–3rd grader

“I’ll play the duet part with you on the recital,” I said.

“Oh, poo!”

–1st grader

“Yesterday, my dad was like, ‘Wrong note! Wrong note!’ So I was glad he was at work today.”

–3rd grader