Wit & Wisdom from the
Students of Daniel Light
Teaching piano is my passion and my career. Students frequently delight me with their comments--often hilarious, sometimes witty, occasionally sweet and tender. Here are some of those gems.
“I need a nap!”
“Wanna know what I call hand sanitizer? Paper cut locator.”
“I think the guy who wrote this piece was the town drunk.”
“Counting is annoying.”
“Mr. Light, Do you have an elf on the shelf?”
“No, should I buy one?”
“You can’t buy one. They just appear!”
“Mr. Light, if you lived in Scotland, you’d have to wear a skirt every day.”
“Which piece would you like to play for recital?” I asked.
“Two Ladies Gasping,” she replied.
“I saw my Spanish teacher hugging the nurse today. They’re both single.”
“Back in my day, you didn’t move Halloween. You put on a poncho if it rained.”
–9th grader (going on 99)
“I got to sit by my crush at school today. I can tell he likes me, ’cause he acts like he hates me.”
“One day of practice wasn’t really enough, was it?” I suggested.
“Not a fan of the hard work,” he replied.
“That sounds like somebody died.”
–2nd grader, after hearing a piece in a minor key.
“First grade is awesome, but there’s a really sassy girl who sits beside me.”
“Mosquitoes like me because I have stinky feet.”
“You could teach a dead body to play piano.”
–Adult student, in response to my praising her good progress.
“Why didn’t Mozart have any chickens? Because they always say ‘Bach, Bach, Bach.'”
“I just had sugar!”
–1st grader, walking in to her lesson, as if I needed to be warned
“You should put your highlighter tape in rainbow order,” she suggested.
“I don’t remember rainbow order,” I replied.
“MR. LIGHT! How can you not know the order of rainbow colors? I learned that in kindergarten!”
“I love your story, but it needs to end sometime.”
–1st grader, telling me about his very chatty classmate
“Are we really allowed to add a rest on the barline?” I asked.
“No, but I smiled when I did it.”
“Fructose!” (uttered as an expletive)
“Line?” said the theater kid, struggling to play from memory.
“I’m pretty sure this piece must have been written by aliens.”
“Feet flat, back straight, fingers curved,” said the first grader before starting to play.
I busted up laughing. They don’t usually parrot it back to me.
“Harry Had a Little Ham?”
“If you’d come to my house to teach me, I could squeeze out another 15 minutes on the Xbox.”
“I got a flu shot yesterday. I screamed in Walgreens.”
“I don’t like that piece. It sounds like someone tooting.”
“I don’t want to play Old MacDonald. McDonald’s is gross.”
“I saw your head at the concert last night.”
“I can’t wait to be an adult so I can boss kids around.”
Peter Piper Picking Pickled Peppers
When you play the piece, you have to be able to say the title.
“Tell me one of Haydn’s significant achievements,” I asked, hoping for some memory of sonata form.
“No one could ever find him?”
“Do you hear what I’m saying?” I asked, quite sure that he hadn’t.
“I hear what you’re layin’ down,” he replied.
“My grandmother told me that note was wrong.”
“Did you argue with her?”
“What would be the point?”
“It’s been another successful hour of comedy with Jack.”
–7th-grade Jack, leaving his lesson
“I wish we had snack time at piano lessons.”
“I want to make a law that there’s no school on Presidents’ Day. How are we supposed to honor the presidents if we’re busy doing math problems?”
“Has this piece seen the light of day since your last lesson?” I asked.
“Not enough to get a tan.”
“I trimmed my fingernails today, ’cause I knew you’d get mad if I didn’t.”
–6th grade boy
“I just whipped my hair.”
“Where’d you learn that move?”
“From boys who play in bands.”
“This Square Dance piece reminds me of cotillion. It was tragic. I had to dance with more than one girl.”
“Which piece would you prefer for recital?” I asked after playing two.
“I want the longer one. I get more attention.”
“Your hair kinda looks like Superman’s today. Now you just need a cape.”
“I was all Aloha! and you were all Yee-Haw!”
–7-year-old Sarah, after we discussed our spring breaks–hers at the beach, mine in Texas
“Someone said I was sexist today, but I don’t know what that means since I haven’t gotten The Talk yet. When will I get The Talk?”